I’m not the type of person that has regrets. I have always been the “everything happens for a reason” kind of gal. I make mistakes, learn from them and understand that everything unfolds as it should. I got these photos from my maternity shoot back today & I must say, I can’t help but feel a bit disappointed in myself.
It makes me sad that I spent a majority of these past 9 months upset that I wasn’t working, wasn’t productive enough, was not accomplishing enough. I think about my beautiful baby girl and my overworked body and how the stress from my feelings of inadequacy during this time might have had an affect on them. For once, I do wish I could go back in time and change some things. I share these thoughts in hopes that perhaps another momma to be sees them and gives herself more grace than I did. These babies feel everything we do. Every moment of joy, every ounce of sadness. I spent countless nights crying in frustration, often battling with my partner when all he wanted was for me to relax, reflect & enjoy this very special time in my life. Imagine that? I finally had a great reason to slow down & someone who wanted to take care of me so I could do just that and all I did was fight it. I will never be pregnant with my first child again. That was it, that time has come and gone and I barely let myself enjoy it.
Moving forward,the only thing I can do is make a promise to myself that I will enjoy every minute of this next chapter with my newborn child.
The day after I gave birth I was already working on figuring out what my next play is, posting about how I “can’t wait to be back at it” again ????.What I need 2do is sit my ass down and enjoy this moment, enjoy my daughter, her first few months of life &the beautiful bond that is to be built during this time. I realize I have some serious reprogramming to do. I have spent so long pushing the #nevernotworking mantra that I simply have become a broken record.
That record stops playing today.
I don’t know what my next move is and Its ok bc for the first time in my life,I am taken care of wether I work or not.What a blessing! I have everything I could ever need. Thank you God ???????? Thank you @dukeriley ????